20April2010

Gotcha Day – Not a good idea

Posted by BaBa under: Observations.

I have been having some really mind opening conversations about raising Sheridan and what to do as an Adoptive Parent. I am trying to avoid stepping in the holes and make errors that I could easily avoid. Adoption is about loss. No way to sugar coat. Loss. (period) There I said it.

Loss for the adoptee of the original family (birth family) followed by loss of country and culture. Loss for the adoptive parents as many couples have tried for years to have a birth family. This is a real loss of the chance to see yourself in your children (since they have your genes and your features).

However, the greater loss is for the adoptee. As an adoptive parent, our joy in the day we meet our child is also their day of extreme sorrow. Our losses are now diminished somewhat by the joy of our new son or daughter. Their loss is raw and open. Who are these people? They don’t smell the same. They don’t look the same. They don’t eat the same food that I do. They don’t even speak the same language.

We will not be celebrating Gotcha Day (also a bad term for this day) in the future. We will mark it on the calendar and honor it in that manner. Instead we will search for a different day to celebrate our Family.

Any thoughts and comments are appreciated, but it is a touchy subject so play nice with the comments.