9 May 2008
Non-Moms – the idea makes me livid
Posted by BaBa under: Daily Life .
America’s Most Favorite Mom is promoting the idea that adoptive moms are not moms and in fact second class moms. They originally put adoptive moms and step moms in a category with dads, grandparents and others called NON-MOMS. They must have seen the error in this as they have now changed the name to Adoptive Moms. Now the insult is more subtle and not as obvious as it was at first.
I wrote them earlier this evening and received the full pr non response email from their spin publicity team. All 3 emails are below starting with my last email. This stuff makes me really upset at the discrimination that we face in forming our unique families.
Dear Sirs,
Thank you for your non-response about the insult to the Non-Mom. I got the apology below and saw this posted to the web as you attempt to band-aid a major problem by changing non-mom to adoptive mom. Why do Adopting Moms need a special category? While the name now is not insulting the idea that they are to be trivialized or marginalized in a separate category is still insulting, but in more subtle way. It implies that only women who give birth can be real moms. The subtle implication is that our children are not our “real” children or our “own” children. I am a proud father to three children. My family was created through love as our oldest two adopted my wife and I while our youngest was adopted by us.
I get the idea of a non-traditional mom in the case of a grandparent, foster parent, guardian or Dad who is having to be both Mom and Dad. Mothers who are adoptive parents and step-mothers do not fit in this category.
In my own life my step-mother earned the title of Mom and that is what I call her. She does not fit in a box to be marginalized by your stereotyped view of Mothers.
I will not be watching your show or the Today Show. I will not be purchasing your products. I will publicize this insult to friends, families and our community of adoptive families. Your apology only corrects a very obvious insult and does not deal with the underlying prejudice behind separating adoptive mothers and step-mothers into their own category. This separation implies that they are not real mothers and their families and children are also not real.
The little figment of our imagination sleeps peacefully upstairs oblivious to this insulting prejudice that is in your contest and will wake in the morning looking for his “pretend” parents who of course love fully him in every way.
Original Complaint Letter
Dear Sirs,
How insulting to Adoptive Mothers and Step-Mothers to classify them as NON-MOMS. Can slap people in the face anymore? Maybe a more insulting title would have been PRETEND MOM. However when my Chinese Son wakes up in the morning looking for MaMa he is not pretending to need her love.
One Insulted NON FATHER
Thank you for contacting Teleflora to share your thoughts about the “Teleflora presents America’s Favorite Mom” program.
In response to your concerns, Teleflora is immediately changing the name of our “Non-Mom” category to “Adopting Moms.” After closer examination, we can see how this may have been offensive to moms who have adopted children — moms who are indeed real moms to theirchildren in every sense of the word. In fact, many of us at Teleflora are “adopting” parents ourselves, including our president and owner. The essence of this category still focuses on a grandparent, neighbor, step mom, or mom to adopted or foster children, each one raising and loving a child.
This show of insensitivity on our part was in no way intended and we deeply apologize for any concern or distress we may have caused. It was always our intent to salute and celebrate all moms.
In closing, all of us at Teleflora would like to offer our sincerest best wishes to all the many women throughout the world who have
worked so hard and given so much to earn the name “Mom.”
Sincerely,
The America’s Favorite Mom Team
*******************************************************************
Please do not reply to this email. Thank you.
Copyright 2008 AFM TV LLC, 11444 W. Olympic Blvd., 10th Floor Los
Angeles, CA 90064 USA. All rights reserved.
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