5 April 2008

First Friday – Perfect Storm

Posted by BaBa under: Daily Life; Friends and Family .

Another First Friday and another great night with First Friday’s Adoption Community. We arrived early to help setup after finishing our dinner at La Dolce Vita. Even after we blew up the floats and prepared the props, we had time to socialize. It was a rainy and stormy night which was perfect for the theme of A perfect Storm. The program started with music from the Beasley’s. They set the tone for the night with three different tunes and then the main program began.

      
MaMa was on the program tonight with topic being: Adoption: A Perfect Storm. I prepared the slides and handouts and she worked with Liz and Susan to put together some practical first hand advice for those that are waiting. You must be prepared for the many challenges as you travel on this path. So many people think that once you get your child, the bells will ring and you will hear the heavenly chorus as this feeling of peace descends upon you. You will hold your child in your arms and your child will instantly know that these are my parents. An instant bond will bind you together as a family. YEAH RIGHT.

However, as the wait lengthens it is hard not to build up a vision in your mind of your child and the life you will have as the parents of this child. Then you finally travel and that day is here. Gotcha day is a day that no one forgets, but it is seldom the same day that you have anticipated. Problems can occur as your child may reject you, your spouse or both of you. You are suffering jet lag and are in country where most do not speak your language. You are tired, emotionally wrung out and now your child wants nothing to do with you. Your family is half way around the world and they really don’t understand anyway. Oh and no one is sleeping as your child throws tantrums at night. So here you are so far from home with your beloved and you think — we have just messed up a wonderful marriage with this child which we thought would add to our joy not make it vanish into thin air.

Now you have a small inkling of why it is called the Perfect Storm. So many things that you must at least be aware of as you prepare to bring your child into your family. As MaMa says, we are adding a member to our team and that we shall never forget that the team existed before the new addition. We have begun to work on lifelines. As you enter this storm, you need a lifeline to be able to call 24/7 to help while you are traveling and after you return home. It is important to have help as your problems are variations on a theme that others have experienced. Look for more of these sessions at First Fridays in the future months.

      

We had a great time with Karen, Bruce and Micah again this Friday. It is easy for us to see the progress they have made in a month, but it is hard for the family to see the progress mostly because you are busy raising your child. For example, Sheridan was drooling when he concentrated. This is something that started a short time ago and now has seemed to stop. I don’t remember when it started and I can’t remember when it stopped.

We enjoyed taking while the kids played. During First Friday, Micah learned a couple of wrestling moves and pinned Sheridan. Sheridan returned the favor and later pinned Micah. Sheridan later avoided another pin by walking away with Micah attached to him. They had a great time. Micah got to sleep after a little while with Karen singing both guys to sleep. Micah is still having sleep issues, but compared to a month ago, things are much better.

We all awoke the next morning to “get up” as Sheridan so aptly puts it. We made waffles for everyone and sausage. We enjoyed a leisurely breakfast along with more conversation about the kids as we get to know our friends even better. The boys played with Sheridan’s police car. Sheridan is getting good at sharing with others. They had a ball with each other. However, it soon was time to say goodbyes as they returned home. The rest of Saturday featured an afternoon nap and an evening of rest.

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