10 March 2008
Cheers
Posted by BaBa under: Daily Life .
First let me thank my friend, Tymm. I love that his writing challenges me to think more about the important things in life. He does such a good job at keeping you focused on the big rocks (important goals, beliefs, values) in life’s jar and not the tiny pebbles.
Remember the song from the TV Show Cheers –
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.
It has always stuck me that this is what we all want — To be in community with others. I continue to find thought provoking ideas in the book Dan has loaned me. I hate to admit this but I am not yet good at this. I once asked one of my former priests the thought provoking question – Where does a 40+ year old man find friends? This is a question that has been answered, but you will have to read further down for the answer.
No don’t get me wrong, I have a best friend. I married her and she has been my partner for 25+ years. We have seen the world together and continue to enjoy a wonderful life. However, we have lived many places and each time we moved, we hoped to make the connections in this new location, but it did not happen.
The one close community that I am involved in is church and this is not what it once was. Several factors have left us on the outside in. The outside election of the bishop new Hampshire tore our church family asunder. At the same time, our beloved priest moved to Boston and our deacon left as he finished school to become a priest. Many changes occurred including people leaving our faith community and new clergy left us with the beauty of our church liturgy and the message of God’s love and grace. However there was a hole that left us without the joy of being in a tight faith based community.
I have spent most of my working life attaining goals and training students to reach their goals. I have been very busy and accomplished a great deal, but I have not spent time in developing those relationships. In fact, I let one of my two stronger friendships stagnate by falling out of touch. We spent time with my friend, his wife and son. It was like the years had not passed, but indeed that had. The years had passed and I was poorer for not being attentive to staying in touch with my friend. I will not allow myself to make this mistake again.
We are at a time in our lives where career is winding down and other items are of much more importance especially friends and community. I have not been true to my own mission statement about developing relationships that empower us to serve others. I am learning to move beyond having relationships that are friendly and last for the duration of the project, need to the deeper idea of true friendship. I have many acquaintances, but only a couple of these deeper friendships. However with God’s grace, I know that today I can start again and not be overcome with the sadness of what could have been, but make the commitment to be a friend and develop these relationships.
As Tymm wrote in his farming post, we must be aware of the seeds that we plant. I have made my share of mistakes, but can indeed start again. I will plant the seeds, water the plants and protect the plants from the weeds in order to enjoy the harvest that fills our soul. When I leave this earth (many years from now I hope), the only thing that I will take with me is the relationships with those on the other side (hopefully not the side with the blast heating furnace).
The answer to the question about friends was adoption. God provided the answer to that question and to the deepest desires of my soul with this one word. I would never have anticipated the answer and that it was such a complete answer for both MaMa and me. I still want to pinch myself to see if it is a dream when I go and check on him as he sleeps. He has brought such joy to my life and it amazing to watch God’s healing occur in the parent child relationship. I am thankful to be so blessed to have Sheridan in our family.
Today, I begin again to make myself open to those around me and be the kind of person that I hope to have as a friend. The book
that Dan had given me to read has taught me that we are all “AS-IS” products. Friends love you as you are warts and all and are there when you need them even your “AS-IS” label is really bright.
For now as the journey continues — Cheers
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One Comment so far...
Tymm & Laura Says:
10 March 2008 at 11:55 pm.
Hey – i actually need to be thanking you – for encouraging me to write and get some of these thoughts outta my head! This is a great post and you are spot on about the weeds that can infringe on our harvest. Look around at the community you are part of – God’s gift of adoption in your world seems to be the harvest of several special seeds – so glad you guys are part of the community!
Tymm
