9 August 2007

Stares abroad and Gossip at home

Posted by BaBa under: Travel .

We have been stared at as we walk out in public here in Nanjing. Most of the stares are just curiosity instead of being rude, but we have had a few of them as well. We were at a local market and two ladies stopped MaMa and Sheridan. They examined his wrist (no they did not ask) and then shook their heads and made comments. Obviously they had decided that something was definitely wrong with him and that is why these two Caucasians had this kid. These things do cause you to have a second to stop and think about how misinformed people can be. Here the prejudice is cultural, but back home it is just plain mean.

We are half way around the world adding a wonderful addition to our family and back home on the local gossip board, someone thinks that it is her mission to comment on our life. We definitely are not in Europe having a great time when we could not arrange our vacation better. BaBa is definitely not having eye surgery to make his eyes look Asian. It is also definitely not any of this person’s business as to why we are adopting in a foreign country and not domestically. It really makes you angry until you realize the source (the county Internet gossip board) and the type of people who post there. The posts are listed below in the EXACT original form.

First Poster on the County Gossip Board —
But seriously, there was only one teacher i am not really happy about, my sons computer programming teacher who couldn’t plan his foreign vacation better so that he missed being there. more so not happy because he has him for two classes

Second Poster on the County Gossip Board —
Sorry you didn’t get to meet the teacher who will spend at least ten hours a week with your son. Looks like you’ll be driving him to school the first day to meet him. You’ll have to leave home at least an hour early.

First Poster on the County Gossip Board —
Well unlike him, i won’t be rude and just show up with all the stuff he will have to do the first day since he wasn’t there But I will make him stay after school one day to meet me

I figure i have meant 108 to 112 of their teachers over the years and thank god only 4 of em stand out as being total losers, who incidentally don’t teach anymore, and another 6 or so that i had a personality conflict with that’s not bad really in the grand scheme of things. I already know this guy didn’t like the way my son dresses cause him marched him to the principal in MARCH, about his coat. BTW the principal had seen him wearing it for three months, but since this guy took exception that one time, he was told to stop wearing it. It was his NEO coat, least thats what i call it, and its never zipped. I wish i had one. Really i mean 80 other people seen it everyday and this guy after three months get a bug up his butt. Yeah i want to meet this guy.

Third Poster on the County Gossip Board —
for a teacher to be out during preplanning there has to be something major going on….don’t ASSume that he wasn’t there because he was on “vacation”…..we have a teacher out because she adopted and gets maternity leave—-and the adoption couldn’t be “convinently” scheduled to fit the school schedule….babies come when they come. We have had this happen in the past also where a teacher did overseas adoption—no where near a “foreign vacation”……….I couldn’t imagine the excitement these people felt getting their children and it would suck if they read this and felt like they let their students down by not being there. No one wants to start the year off by pissing off parents.

I’m just saying that teachers have lives that don’t convinently fit the school year too and there could have been some VALID reason he wasn’t there

First Poster on the County Gossip Board —
First lets not start off the year fighting about someone in the middle, someone neither of us knows, and i only know by these two acts.

I can only go by what i was told, He is on vacation and the place is in Europe was mentioned and having a good time

First Poster on the County Gossip Board —
The crow that is. I hate eating crow. You may remember my post about my sons teacher not being at Open house. Never mind i am sure you do. You may recall I was told he was “On vacation, in Europe”? Sound familiar. Well I thought you might just like to know …the rest of the story. Monday a teacher who subs all the time told the kids that the Actual instructor had adopted a child from China, past tense, and that the Actual instructor was in China, …(ready for this?)..
having his eyes done to look more Chinese Now i look at my kid, a smart quite nearly 17 yr old and natually enough say, ” What”? while laughing hysterically

I ask Who told him this? “the sub” Well OK, are you sure he’s not pulling your leg? “No this guy never laughs, he’s pretty serious, he doesn’t make jokes, i have had him as a sub three years” I am still laughing. OK i say “so what happend to Europe,” he says “i dunno, that’s just what they are saying today” So i ask, ” do they have the child already?” my son says “Yeah, they go him he’s home” and i say ” and the teacher is getting his eyes done?” (holding my sides) and my son says “Yeah like this” and pulls his eyes back to make them look Asian. I said, “maybe i should go up there and talk to the sub”. My son says “we’ll have a different one tomorrow”

off topic a moment
Well they did get another sub, second teacher on the third day. So now what is happening, well my son is helping the new sub figure out XHTML, while the guy is trying to figure out how to change font color back on lesson 1 for 10 minutes, my son is showing how to make a calculator in VB, then tells the guy how to change the font color. (This is what i wanted to talk to the Actual teacher about) BTW the Actual teacher did leave a video of himself to address the class, just did it on the wrong tape media. Anyway they figured it out the second day.
Back on topic

So anyhoo this is what you said the other day.

First Poster on the County Gossip Board —
Aww thank you, I was thinking they were getting the rope n This is like a mini diary of one womans first week of school. I really would like to wait and talk to the teacher, but this is want is happening in his absence .

I don’t want to ask the teacher, but i would like someone to tell me why people won’t adopt kids in this country. It does seem “trendy” and if there is a real solid reason why so many are going overseas while our amercian born kids are in foster care, i would like to know, I really would.

Another Poster on the County Gossip Board –
You know what? I think you rock.

I’ve said it here before, but I really wish that people took into consideration that teachers they name on here are *real* people with real lives and real families who read hurtful things about them on here. Since they can’t exactly come on here and set the story straight, it makes for a really uncomfortable time.

Anyway, I think you rock for this post. And, I think it’s cool that the teacher left a video message. I’ve thought about taping a few myself for unexpected sub days–no one can give the teacher look quite like the actual teacher can

First Poster on the County Gossip Board —

Well i thought i might go back and address this, I mean afterall, we the parents are getting our information from Kids. But not only Kids. I was actually told something different to my face. I also am trying to see that this is the fist week. He won’t be back for two weeks, so it will be a little harder than missing a few days for all of them.

I just won’t be able to speak with him now until later in the month instead of this week. I don’t want to rush him the minute he gets in.

First Poster on the County Gossip Board —
Maybe i am on his ignore list just kidding You just don’t know Its so hard to listen to this and wonder what the who I just thought WFAL and all the others out there would enjoy a begining of the year Haha. It isn’t easy being on either side.

23 posts on this topic.

8 Comments so far...

Dan Says:

9 August 2007 at 9:53 am.

I am so proud of you guys…can’t wait til you get home.

Kelly Norwood Says:

9 August 2007 at 12:11 pm.

Michael and Kim,
Sheridan is worth every ignorant comment by anyone! You guys just sit back and laugh because “the first poster” is clearly jealous that you guys have a life. The good news is that I bet he/she will be too embarassed to talk to you after he/she finds out you have read this! Being as I am local to you guys I don’t know if I can do anything, or be able to get on that web board to defend you, but I am most willing to do this. I believe you have my email if you need it.

Vanessa Says:

9 August 2007 at 3:14 pm.

It’s sad that the basic nature of many people is to want to criticize and condemn others even when the accusations are so clearly preposterous. It is almost always because they don’t feel good about themselves and feel better by throwing rocks at others, so I guess we should all just feel sorry for them ( and their kids!)
I am so sorry you had to read and deal with that silly garbage when you should have nothing on your mind but bonding with and enjoying your precious son.
I’m sure the sweet sound of his laughter will wash away any thoughts of small, petty people with nothing to do but gossip


Cathy Paulsen Says:

9 August 2007 at 8:01 pm.

I can’t believe that people are angry for you Michael not being there. I like the person who is obviously from my school who was in my corner. I cannot wait to meet that beautiful boy.

Mary Rodin Says:

10 August 2007 at 8:31 am.

Michael & Kim-

Sheridan is a gorgeous little boy, and you guys are lucky to have found one another.
Don’t let the ignorant comments of this poster distract from this magical time with your family.

Michael- This lady sure is a ‘big talker’. I can hardly wait for this conversation she wants to have with you when you all return. Oh, if I could be a fly on the wall! LOL

Have fun with your little boy and congratulations!

Mary Rodin

Heather Says:

10 August 2007 at 8:39 am.

Where do you live because I am sure not going to be visiting any time soon?! What is wrong with these people? Just a bunch of people looking for something to complain about?! I cannot believe some of the things I just read.
Sheridan is beautiful and I cannot wait until I get to go to China to get my eyes done!!!

Julie Says:

10 August 2007 at 11:07 am.

Sheridan is just awesome and I am so happy for your family! What a beautiful little boy he is.

Try to let go of the ignorance of the message boards back home get to you – and KNOW that you have made an amazing impact on this little boy’s life – and he in yours – that’s ALL that matters!

Heidi Hales Says:

11 August 2007 at 1:15 am.

How sad that these people have nothing better to do with their time and can be so petty. Just enjoy your beautiful new boy and ignore their ignorant comments.


About Our Family

We have been married for 26 years, and have been blessed with our youngest son from China. Our oldest son is from Nicaragua. He and his wife have given us two outstanding grandchildren. Our daughter is Thai and is married to a wonderful son-in-law.

This is the chronicle of our adventures as a family with Sheridan.

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