25 October 2008

Taz returns

Posted by BaBa under: Daily Life .

Taz returns 10-26
Taz, the Tazmanian Devil
reappeared last night and it was all my fault. I did not have a good night as a BaBa. We had been on the go all day as you can read below. We got a very late meal, but he got full and was happy. We had avoided any meltdowns due to being hungry.

After dinner, I wanted to get in one school errand and so we instead of heading home, we went to Best Buy. The arrangments for the school purchase took a great deal longer than I suspected. Magoo and MaMa played hide and go seek. He was good natured until the end when he just wanted to stay sitting with MaMa. We told him that we were going to look for a program for the computer.

He was tired and fussy and chose not to get up after several attempts, so we left. The meltdown started in a very small way as he left the store with MaMa. It escalated into full fury and the transformation was complete. You have heard the expression about taking the gloves off. Well with Magoo it is taking the shoes off. Not only did he take the shoes off, but also the socks. The entire trip home we did not have Sheridan in the carseat, but Taz. Taz has not been in the car for over a year. He cried, screamed and wailed to go back.

We arrived home with a very upset little guy. We both worked to calm him down and transform him back into our sweet lovable guy. He had to have a bath as he was drenched in sweat. After the bath, we both sat in his room and talked with him and sang to him as he gradually turned back from Taz to our lovable Magoo.

We knew that he was so worn out that sleep would come quickly and this would complete the transformation as he awakes sunny and happy. I did find him a game for the computer (Cars) between the time he left the store and I walked out. I had them hold this for me as I would have to return to complete the purchase for school tomorrow.

Being a BaBa is not all fun and games. Sometimes you have to make the hard choices and deal with the consequences. His choice was not to get up to shop for his game despite several attempts. Choices have consequences. Our choice was to deal with the tsunami of emotions that I had created by trying to get this errand finished when I should have gone home. I did not know it would take so long, but I should have as anytime you deal with government paperwork it is not simple.

The easy route would have been to come out to the car with the computer game and thus end the meltdown. This would have been the easy way but would have set the pattern for more and deeper problems in the future. The first problem is that I would have to override the decision that MaMa made about the computer game, a decision that I agreed with. The other problem is that giving into the fit (even though I had inadvertently set the stage for it to occur) would plant the seed that if I throw a fit loud enough and hard enough, I will get what I want. This is definitely not what we to start and a road not to take. I will apologize to the little guy for my error in a way that he can understand and move forward.

While we made the right decision and then weathered the storm, it does not make you feel better as you see your son totally engulfed with emotional outcry. The only consolation to remember is that I am human and make mistakes. I set a pattern for him when I admit my mistakes and apologize. I am keeping my eye on the future and weighing short term fixes versus long term lessons that will build his character through consistency. Still it was a hard night to be a BaBa. Thankfully the morning allows me to redeem myself.

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